


Grudges

by FloreatCastellum



Series: Missing Hogwarts Moments [9]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Gen, Missing Scene, The closest Harry will ever get to a parent teacher conference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 06:49:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19420684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloreatCastellum/pseuds/FloreatCastellum
Summary: After Harry tells them about Snape's worst memory, Remus must speak to Snape about Harry's occlumency lessons.





	Grudges

They watched as Harry’s head vanished from the flames, and leaned back on their heels. ‘Ah, shit,’ said Sirius.

Remus smiled mildly and shrugged. ‘He’ll be all right, it was probably a bit of a shock. He knows James was a good man. We’ll just have to reaffirm it over the summer.’

He rose with some difficulty - he still ached from the full moon just a few nights ago, and sat back at the table. Sirius did the same, flicking his wand as he did. Two butterbeers zoomed in, and Sirius caught one with elegant ease. The other wobbled slightly as it landed in front of Remus, who smiled wryly up at him.

‘I had forgotten though,’ said Sirius, a little gruffly, ‘about how he used to do that thing with his hair.’

Remus laughed. ‘That never quite went away, did it? It was more like a nervous tic in the end.’

‘It’s funny that I forgot it though,’ said Sirius. ‘I thought I remembered everything about him. All those little mannerisms and quirks.’

‘It was a long time ago,’ said Remus quietly.

‘Yeah, but what else have I forgotten?’ Sirius asked sourly, and then he took a hefty swig from the butterbeer.

‘Well,’ said Remus bracingly. ‘I hope you’ve forgotten all the awful jokes and forced puns, because I’ve been trying for years and I just can’t.’

Sirius spluttered his laugh through his beer, raising the back of his hand to stop himself from spitting it out. ‘Merlin, of course,’ he said. ‘He and his dad were both the same, weren’t they? Fucking awful jokes. Only funny because they were so bad.’

Remus tilted his head. ‘I thought some of them were quite clever,’ he said softly. He swallowed. ‘He’d have been a good dad.’

‘He was a good dad,’ said Sirius glumly. ‘For that year and a bit.’

‘You know what I mean,’ said Remus.

‘Mmm,’ said Sirius moodily, picking at the label on his bottle. He hesitated, and his eyes seemed to brighten a little, though his expression didn’t. ‘Do you remember…’ Sirius’s lips twitched into an uneasy smile, ‘how much he smoked?’

Remus laughed. ‘Yes. Both of you were awful. Chimneys. Maybe don’t tell Harry that. It’s not cool anymore, you know. Smoking.’

‘Isn’t it?’

‘I’m afraid not.’

Sirius raised his eyebrows. ‘Well, it was cool when we did it. And then he made all these grand statements about giving it up when Lily was pregnant, but every time I went round there she told me about catching him in the garden. Never did smoke around Harry though. I think he would have managed to quit in the end.’

Remus felt an odd lump in his throat. ‘Yes, I remember him smoking in the garden. Sitting on that wall. I remember him turning and grinning at me.’ He looked up at the ceiling for a moment. ‘He’d left his wand inside, I was bringing it to him.’

Sirius drank again. ‘Yes,’ he croaked, after he swallowed. ‘Yes, that was another habit of his. I’ve sometimes wondered…’

‘It was on the sofa,’ said Remus abruptly. He scratched at the side of his face and took a drink from his own bottle. ‘That’s what the report said.’

Neither of them said anything. They both knew that James had been nowhere near the sofa. They knew where he had been. They drank together in silence for several minutes; Remus was stuck, quite suddenly, by a memory of James, not long before he died, without his roguish grin or casual, lazing body language. His shoulders had been tense and his face serious; he had watched his wife bathing his son in the kitchen sink while he spoke in low, hurried words to Remus.

‘More information has got out about us. Death Eaters have been sighted at that park I took Harry to-’

‘Bloody hell, James,’ Remus had said. ‘Who have you told about that?’

‘No one!’

‘You must have done!’

‘Nobody that would’ve-’

‘What if you’d gone back before they’d been sighted? James, someone must have-’

‘It doesn’t matter,’ James said harshly. ‘There’s a- a plan. We’re… The security’s going to change.’

Sirius’s low, gravelly voice jerked Remus back to the present. ‘Harry must continue with occlumency. I’m not having everything thrown away because James and I were little berks at school.’

‘Yes,’ said Remus heavily. ‘I’ll talk to Severus-’

‘No, I’ll-’

‘Sirius!’ Remus gave him a reproachful look. ‘You know he won’t even meet with you, and quite frankly even if he did I think you would make it worse.’ Sirius scowled at him, but said nothing, returning to his butterbeer.

Remus sighed, and looked back at the embers of the fire. ‘I’ll… I’ll arrange a meeting with him in Hogsmeade. He’ll assume it’s Order business. I’ll imply Dumbledore’s sent me, that may help.’

‘Maybe you should talk to Dumbledore too,’ said Sirius. ‘Get him to commit to a date when Harry can come back here for the summer.’

Remus winced. ‘You know he’s vague about that. No, I’ll try and reason with Severus first. Dumbledore’s laying low.’

Sirius snorted dismissively. ‘Good for him,’ he muttered. The bitterness in his voice was palpable.

***

It was just a few days later when Remus sat in The Three Broomsticks, nursing a beer and helping himself to the small dish of peanuts on his table. Rosmerta had chatted lightly, but she hadn’t quite looked him in the eyes as she pulled his pint, and a few minutes after he had left the bar, he saw her cleaning the place where he had leaned. He remembered with a pang that she had greeted him as Professor Lupin, and therefore likely remembered the reason he had left the school.

Snape was late, and Remus had almost given up on him when the door creaked open and his sallow, greasy looking face appeared. Remus held up a hand to him, and Snape stalked, bat-like over to his table, flicking his wand around them as he sat. Their conversation was now private.

‘Is this about Greyback?’ Snape asked brusquely. ‘Or have you word from Dumbledore?’

‘No,’ said Remus mildly. He pushed the extra pint he had bought towards Snape, who ignored it. ‘I heard that you ended Harry’s occlumency lessons.’

Snape sneered. ‘Black sending you to do what he can’t, is he? Must be frustrating to hand over what little responsibilities he does have to you.’

‘I’ve also heard why you ended them,’ said Remus calmly.

Snape flushed, the scowl on his face so vivid that Remus almost leaned back. ‘I told Potter to mention it to no one - thank you for informing me that he has disobeyed me yet again-’

‘Severus,’ said Remus, in what he hoped was a placating tone.

‘I will not have him in my office again,’ Snape snarled. ‘If the boy is so arrogant, so ill-mannered, so entitled to believe that he may snoop through my private-’

‘Harry’s faults aside,’ said Remus, hoping to temper Snape’s anger and avoid the defensiveness Sirius would have thrown at him, ‘Dumbledore must have emphasised the importance of him learning occlumency. Surely you-’

‘The boy will never learn,’ replied Snape, his lip curling in utter contempt. ‘He is too emotional, too weak. Frankly, I am tired of looking through his pathetic little childhood and boohooing that nobody loved him - it bores me, Lupin, like everything, the boy believes himself to be unique and special-’

‘None of this is relevant,’ said Remus, hoping that he was managing to keep the irritation out of his voice. ‘You know what is at stake, you know what could happen.’

‘And it will be entirely the boy’s fault. He is the one who threw away his chance of learning.’

Remus rubbed at his eyes and breathed deeply. ‘My god, Severus - after all these years, you let a schoolboy rivalry-’

‘This has nothing to do with Potter,’ spat Snape.

‘It clearly does,’ said Remus firmly. ‘Harry is not James, he is not the same person-’

‘He is similar enough that I can see past the Boy-Who-Lived wonder for his flaws,’ Snape insisted. ‘And I can see that it is worthless trying to teach a boy who is neither capable nor willing to learn, much less one who shows an utter lack of respect for his teacher.’

‘It’s your job to keep trying regardless,’ said Remus. ‘When Dumbledore hears-’

‘Dumbledore is more than welcome to take on the responsibility himself,’ said Snape silkily. ‘He is the one grooming the boy for great things, is he not?’

‘He’s trying to protect-’

‘Believe that if you must.’

Remus studied Snape carefully; he was sure his own face must be scowling now too. ‘You will not get the apology you need,’ he said in a measured voice, ‘because the man who owes it to you is dead.’

‘I have no desire for an apology from James Potter - I couldn’t care less-’

‘I have tried, for my part, to make amends, to move on-’ Remus tried to continue.

‘Ever the wise, responsible, mature one,’ sneered Snape. ‘How is it on those lofty heights, Lupin? I would have thought a man so virtuous as yourself would…’ Snape shrugged, a nasty glint in his eye, ‘avoid sordid affairs with younger women?’

Remus closed his eyes, and looked away, trying to hold back the heavy sigh that threatened to escape from his lungs. ‘That’s… again, Severus, that’s not a matter of relevance to the-’

‘I will not teach that boy privately again,’ Snape hissed, leaning forward. ‘And I will not have whoever’s trying to adopt him lately lecture me on the morality of refusing to indulge his spoilt behaviour.’

‘Severus-’

Snape rose from his chair. ‘I will see you at the next Order meeting,’ he said curtly. ‘Best of luck in continuing to babysit Black.’

Remus watched as Snape stormed out of the pub, his cloak billowing behind him. He sighed and reached for the pint he had bought Snape, which had remained untouched. ‘Shit,’ he muttered, before taking a deep gulp.


End file.
